In these moments, stopping, breathing and really thinking it through, focusing on all the great and not just the gaps, becomes helpful in making the best possible decision.
When you feel like you may be riding an emotional wave, give this a try to calm the waters:
- Walk away: Allow yourself space from the situation you find yourself in. Go somewhere quiet, where you can think, and all the triggers that are making you want to make this change are absent. For me, a run works wonders. You can also try a walk, diving into a good book, visiting your favourite place etc.
- Reflect on the positive: Focus solely on all the positives of the current situation. In life, many of us have a tendency to suppress these and focus on the gaps or problems in front of us. Try asking yourself: “What is going well?”
- Isolate the trigger: Determine what is making you feel this way. Search for the trigger (what is the root reason for your desire to make a change). A helpful way to do this is to continually ask yourself, “What is making me want a change?” as you answer that question dig a little deeper by questioning “What is making me feel that way? or What about that?” Keep repeating those two questions as you slowly peel back each layer until you find the trigger.
- Take a breath.
- What would change: Ask yourself, “If I was to implement this change, what would change for the good and for the bad?”
- Decide: Hopefully at this point you will feel like the emotional wave has crashed on the shore and you are left standing in calm water. At this point it is time to decide what your next step will be using your rational mind.